I have. All of the above.

But now that I have done it all… I must say leasing sucks. It’s good if you change up cars every 4 years and want to be in that new car stink. That was my plan 4 years ago. But when my lease came up, reality had its own agenda. It was about $1600 + worth. (BTW, I was 6000 under KMs). So a quarter of my buy back equaled damages.

Are they NUTS? I thought so… So here is the story and you tell me what you think.

Let’s start off by saying I have been driving and owning cars for over 20 years now. Just over 4 years ago, after having some poor excuses for cars, I decided that my next car was going to be brand spanking new. I went up to all the dealers I saw and expressed to them, “I want a car that no one else has farted in but me and it must have only 2 doors.”

Now at the time I was single, making decent money, no debt and I actually had savings in the bank. I was feeling pretty good and confident. I went with my brother to a certain Toyota dealership that his buddy KC worked at. Great success.  At that time I figured that since I was no longer going to buy crappy old cars that I’d try my hand at leasing some different cars and switch up every 4 years. So I was set up by KC in a Toyota Yaris 2006. I actually had to wait for them to find one with the specs that I had ordered and that no one else had expelled fumes in it before me. This was wonderful.

I get my car. I love this fun, little beast. The best car I have ever owned. It was to my specs and to what options I wanted. So I am having a blast with it. Waxing, caring, vacuuming, you know, that whole pride of ownership thing. I was trying to show off my new wheels.

So a short time passes and I begin dating a woman with 2 young kids. We move in together. Now my fun little car was being used to do large amounts of grocery shopping and moving furniture, kids getting in and out, spilling juice and getting their dirty hands all over everything and so forth. So there starts to wear and tear on the car. I break up and move out. I start dating someone else, moved in and again the car is being used for utilitarian reasons. So over the course of 4 years and paying over $300 / mth I figured that the wear and tear on the car was normal.

OK, now I get to talk about some of the stuff I know I did to the car and accept as . I was at Tim Hortons one day in the drive through, talking with my GF at the time. My car was a manual shift car so it had started rolling forward slowly without me noticing it. When I tried to stop I kept hitting my clutch instead of the breaks. So I bump into his trailer hitch on this guy’s truck doing about .5 km/hr.  I dimple my front bumper and I might have scratched some dust that was on this guys truck.  When I was at a grocery store or to the like of… someone must have scraped me with a buggy because there were some strange scratch marks on my back bumper that looked like they were made from a wire mesh like a shopping cart. There was a burn hole on the driver seat. And if you look around you will notice this trend, the hubcaps on the Yaris don’t seem to stay on… so I lost 2. One was lost after a terrible servicing at the bad dealership.

Once I went back to the dealer when the lease was up, KC was no longer there.   I ended up speaking with some woman (leave her nameless) that took over his accounts.  WOW is this lady is a piece of work. She started to name off parts that had to be replaced as per what she states Toyota expects.   She starts to say, ” we need a brand new front bumper $600, paint back bumper $250, paint both doors because paint has worn off the edge $150 each, we need new tires $90 each, new hub caps $90 for 4, new seat, new floor mats, new console due to scratches on the interior, and so on and so on. Oh yeah… plus taxes.”

HA

I want make sure I understand correctly, you want to make this car new again to return to Toyota after 4 years? … WTF!

Wait.. I can smell the gears turning in your head…you are starting to understand my frustration. What am I supposed to do now?

I called up a buddy that works for Toyota, Craig McEachern and asked him about the prices.. Pretty much what she did was double the cost of everything so she could make a profit. That’s right, that front bumper to the right only costs $111.39 here.  Maybe Toyota charges $300 for an official Toyota part.  Honestly I wasn’t calling for any reason other than to find out if these prices were way too high.  Next thing I know is Craig comes back at me and tells me to bring the car to them. The owner’s will look at the car and see what they can do for me.

What? Do you know how long of a drive that is?  I think Buffalo is far and that is only half as far.

Nevertheless , I took my car all the way to Peterborough, the dealership my buddy Craig works at 90 min away from Toronto, even though my dealership was only 10 min from my home. Craig’s General Manager, Jason Russelle, looked at and test drove the car and he told me that it would only cost me $750 and that they will take it for me. I won’t have to deal with that nasty dealership anymore.

I was floored, and for 2 reasons.

• I had the same outlook on car dealers as you do… friggin blood suckers and this guy seems to not fit that mold
• It was over half the price.

Jason and Craig took care of me and put my mind at ease even though I wasn’t getting into a new vehicle right now. They handled all the paperwork and were very straight forward with me. So I know I will be going back there and recommending to everyone I know (and don’t know) for future car purchases. They actually earned it with respect. Because of how they treat someone respectfully and with dignity before knowing if they are worthy of networking with, I am going to do something  I never do and that is give them a respectful FREE promotional plug so maybe they will be your Toyota advisers to and sit you into your next new or used car.

Craig McEachern  •  Product Adviser

cmceachern@russelletoyota.com

Toll Free Tel: 1-800-669-2087 ~  ext 217   •  Tel: (705)742-4288  •  Fax: (705)742-4949

Russelle Toyota
1400 Lansdowne St. W.
Peterborough, ON
K9J 2A2
(705)742-4288

Final thought:

I won’t name the horrible GTA dealership that tried to screw me. No need to bash them. Instead I say we push up and support the good respectful people so that we can’t see the crap flowing below.

]]> http://siatesta.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/leased-car/feed/ 1 0.000000 0.000000 0.000000 0.000000 mcstylis Toyota Yaris Front bumper Dealer Logo http://siatesta.wordpress.com/2009/10/21/an-inspirational-letter-about-apologies/ http://siatesta.wordpress.com/2009/10/21/an-inspirational-letter-about-apologies/#comments Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:13:36 +0000 mcstylis http://siatesta.wordpress.com/?p=63 ]]>

AAAARRRRRGGG

Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone and you aren’t even sure how you got to that point to begin with.. I have… many times actually and I mean the subject is completely trivial and for some reason, whatever it is… THAT is now my focal point for the rest of the day. Everyone I’d talk to or see is either asked, told or is the victim of unsolicited verbal spewage of whatever subject ticked me off, that now controls the day and my moods.

Un-Freakin believable.

And this all started with a simple statement or posting on Facebook (for example). Let’s use the “Balloon Boy” story. A friend of mine had posted a innocent statement on how worried she was about this boy that the news was talking about. I had stated that I thought the 6 year old and the parents are all Dumbasses. I did not get captured by this story.. It just smelled fishy. I mean there were too many red flags on this one. But I am sorry.. I must say.. That I don’t feel that it is necessarily a bad thing to call a 6 year old a dumbass, when he actually is one..

Now I understand that I may not have kids of my own, but I do have some understanding of kids and in no way am I stating that I am an expert… But I am not standing in the clouds either… Now certain comments were said back and forth and because I ended up being right about the whole situation I expected an apology. But did not get one.. I got even more pissed off. Now its time to verbalize my concerns in an email then off to write my blog about this with all my pictures and facts and stories that I was going to use to prove my point. But then I didn’t actually send it or publish the blog. See I didn’t want to be right necessarily.. I just wanted to be validated. I still think its ok to call someone a dumbass when they deserve it.. Anyways we called a truce.   WAWA WE WA! Great Success!

Anyways this is a posting that she has on her wall on Facebook and I thought that we could all benefit from reading this letter about apologies. I hope that the message doesn’t fall upon deaf ears.

Neither I nor her wrote it but we both agree with it.:

Tell me what you think…

__________________________________

Good day!

How many times in your life have you felt personally affronted, offended or disappointed in someone’s actions to the point where an apology seemed to be necessary?

Sometimes an apology seems important at the time but the incident fades in time to the point where the incident is forgotten and the need for an apology fades with it.

Other times, it is felt that an apology is so critical that the relationship cannot continue until the apology is delivered – and a suitable apology at that, not just any half-hearted apology.

It is normal that we sometimes feel an apology is warranted.  If the need passes relatively quickly and the relationship continues undamaged, then Life proceeds as it always has and no one is the worse for the incident.

When a relationship becomes damaged or is permanently put on hold while waiting for an apology, then the person waiting for the apology needs to examine the 5 W’s regarding the necessity of the apology.

What is to be gained by demanding or holding out for an apology? Is everyone better off while time passes without the apology that is expected? What is lost as this time passes?

Why is the apology needed? Can your life continue with or without it? Will receiving an apology somehow make your life so much better than if you had not received one?

Who benefits from waiting for this apology? Is it possible that waiting for an apology burdens the person waiting for it more so than the person who “should” be giving it?

When has a sufficient time elapsed before an apology is no longer necessary, or would someone rather wait indefinitely, regardless of the impact of this decision? When does someone realize that the need for an apology is not as important as what is lost in the relationship?

Where does the person waiting for the apology expect their life to go if they accumulate enough of these “must have an apology” incidents? That would present quite a burden on someone who already has the many challenges of life presented by living in the 21st century.

The fact is that the day you cannot forgive somebody for an act committed is the day you can stop expecting forgiveness for any act that you may commit against others.

It is also true that while receiving an apology may make your past seem better in your eyes, does holding out for one indefinitely make your future better? I doubt if it does.

The pain or hurt that we perceived for which an apology is demanded is often encased in a lot of emotion, which prevents us from analyzing the true source of it and prevents us from beginning the process of healing one’s self and one’s relationships.

This pain festers and grows on negative energy. It drags people down and becomes a preoccupying thought that prevents them from reaching their truest potential.

It is so easy to say “I will never let that person hurt me again” yet what is hurting you the most – the act committed against you or the negative energy that you are accumulating as you keep reliving the incident and affirming the need for an apology.

Alan Paton, a famous writer, summed it up nicely when he wrote, “When a deep injury is done, we never recover until we forgive”.

It is so easy to rationalize not forgiving someone by saying “If I forget this incident, then I am opening myself to being offended again later”.

However, this thought continues the pain, hurt and other emotions that are wrapped around the original incident, preventing one from analyzing the incident and truly evaluating it on it’s merits.

Forgiving someone releases this negative energy and allows one to grow and to learn from the incident.

Isn’t this what Life is all about – to learn from our experiences so that we can handle them better the next time? How can we expect to grow and experience Life to it’s fullest if we refuse to learn from the lessons offered to us?

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”.

There is a common expression along the same lines that it takes a big person to forgive. It is easy to hold a grudge for a long time (or forever). It takes true internal strength to forgive.

Some people like to say they forgive someone but they never forget the incident. Is this true forgiveness, or do you at some level put the relationship on probation, waiting for the next affront to upset you all over again?

To not forget the incident when it is forgiven is not true forgiveness and people should not delude themselves by thinking that forgiving and not forgetting go hand in hand.

There are people who feel that punishment is warranted and that somehow the apology is connected with this punishment, almost as if the apology serves as a form of humiliation in the initial stages of retribution.

This adds unnecessary negativity to the need for an apology – the negativity associated with some form of revenge.

Life has a way of rewarding or punishing people when the time is right, whether that person wants it or expects it.

So rather than assuming that one has the right to be administering some form of justice, isn’t it better to let Life handle each person as they deserve?

Plus, the incident that you think an apology is warranted for may be a single low point in an otherwise perfect life on the part of the other person – so what gives you the right to exact punishment on them for this?

On the contrary, perhaps you brought on the incident so what gives you the right to punish someone for an action that you brought on or instigated?

Forgiving some people may also confuse them. Some incidents may in fact warrant an apology but it is not worth waiting for, for some of the reasons discussed previously.

Forgiving this person will be a release for you and will offer a lesson to the other person, a lesson that they may not understand immediately.

Rather than try to impose a lesson on them, allow time to reveal the power of forgiveness to them. Sara Paddiston summarized this when she wrote, “Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”

Holding grudges is also a great way to build enemies. Life is challenging enough without creating additional challenges.

If through a simple act, we can create or maintain relationships or at the very least, nullify an enemy, isn’t this a better thing than to be looking over our shoulder as we watch out for the actions of our enemies.

Forgiving someone is not a license for that person to hurt again.

However, by forgiving them, you provide a learning opportunity to that person as well and through your actions, both parties grow.

If someone takes advantage of repeated forgiveness on your part, then it is time to review and discuss your relationship with that person.

Everyone has a purpose on this earth and we are all connected on many levels. Herman Melville noted, “We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.”

Since Life rewards or punishes based on our actions, the positive action of forgiveness will be returned to us in a positive way.

To be unable to forgive is to be unable to love.

Let us also not forget that we are not perfect. We have committed our own acts that perhaps we are not proud of, that someone else may expect an apology for.

We may choose to stand our ground, insisting that an apology is not necessary. At some point the proverbial “light” comes on and you see the situation for what it is – you are unwilling to apologize for something yet find yourself wondering why you can’t receive an apology for a different incident.

Opening our hearts to forgiveness also enables us to apologize when the need is there and therefore we learn by forgiving.

So given all of this, why would you rather hold all of this negative energy inside you and allow it to cripple you, hold you back, encourage sleepless nights and inhibit your life.

Forgiveness, love and Life are intertwined. Free yourself from the trappings and negative energy of grudges, forgive those who need forgiveness, apologize to those you have affronted and know that you will have opened your heart and your mind to a better life – one where you can more easily recognize and accept Life’s gifts and wonder.

Namaste – the Divine in me honors the Divine in you

Harry

Hell frozen over!

Well I have to say I was completely shocked and flabbergasted at the way I was treated by the in-laws over the Thanksgiving Monday while we all celebrated.  Now I am not sure if it was a sympathy niceness because of Anne’s passing (I hadn’t seen them since) or if they just were trying extra hard to be nice and cordial with me.. See it’s been about a year since I have been in their home. Even when dropping off Nicole I will wait outside.  The father in law and I sort of did not get off on the right foot and it just continued throughout the relationship.

Needless to say it was nice to see them and Nicole’s brother with his family, Jessie and their really cute and adorable growing son Jacob.  Now I know most of you think your kid or all kids are cute.. Well not so for everyone… however Jacob (now one) is really handsome.. He is going to break hearts.  We don’t get to see them often. They lived in Ajax and now moved to Burlington.. I guess they like living far from Toronto.  So perhaps we may see them a bit more but who knows?

So let’s get back to the dinner I was discussing.  My parents are Italian.. so you can imagine our dinners… Yuppers, this year we had lasagna and meat cooked in the tomato sauce, we had cold cuts up our wazzu and nuts, fruit and lemon tarts that we picked up from Cobbs Bakery in Kensington Market.  So as you can gather, it is not your average Thanksgiving grub.

MMMM Turkey Dinner

One thing I love about Christmas and Thanksgiving is that I know that we are going to have Turkey with stuffing when we go to Nicole’s parent’s place. So here was the menu. We started with crackers and cheese while waiting for dinner. No need to spoil appetite with Triscuit wafers when Turkey is just a few moments away.  And I don’t mean a small regular Turkey that the average family would buy… nope we are talking about a damn Pterodactyl filled to the brim with very tasty homemade stuffing.  Then there was the barrel of mashed potatoes with gravy that I could have polished off by myself.  I think there was a bowl of veggies but I don’t think anyone touched them.  After all that great goodness we then had coffee and 2 pies.. Apple crumble and Pumpkin.  The Apple pie was not crumbly but more crusty…  I didn’t get to the pumpkin pie… I eat a lot but even I have my limits.

So in closing  have to say, I hope that we can move forward within the family and be happy as a family… I am willing to start on a clean slate.  I now offer a dove and olive branch in peace so that we can all be happy and comfortable.

PEACE

My Final Thoughts about Anne Marie

Hey Kiddo,

I know that you are still here among us carrying us through this right now… so to begin I want to THANK YOU Anne for your strength, courage and help with this.

It matters not how someone dies, but how they live.

I remember one of the final days she was here in Toronto and we were on our porch she turned to me and said, “Sam, go with the flow”.. That is how she lived her life.  Anne lived a short life of 54 but she lived a lifetime of someone that lived to be 80.  She made life amazing for everyone, especially my brother Tony.  I have never in my life seen two people in love more than them. I have always wanted to have even a fraction of the love they have for each other with my partner because it would be more than most have experienced.

“Life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.”  I know that Anne’s breath was taken away many times. She lived the life that she wanted and not the life that was dealt to her… that is especially true of her in Vegas…

Like the ripples in a pond, the work of one person can spread out and touch the lives of many others.

There are only a handful of people who come into your world, and touch your life in a dramatic fashion.  Some of the people are just flickers of light during a long life, while others are consistent glows for years.  For me, Anne was my consistent glow.  She was my most favorite person ever.

Anne is in heaven now and we are here at her memorial. This is not the time for us to grieve her death but it’s our time to celebrate her life. Don’t ever forget Anne Marie. She never wanted to see people cry. She wanted to make everyone happy. So at this moment, let’s all think back and remember how Anne touched our lives. How she made us laugh and how good Anne was as a person. This is not the moment for us to shed our tears but we should all be thankful that we were given the chance to have known a strong, loving and compassionate friend named Anne Marie.

Tony said it right … To meet her was to love her. I miss you dearly and look forward to seeing you again and having a Latte Grande at SSHTARBUCKSHH

Bye Anne..

A few words from Annette McLeod, one of Anne’s closest Toronto friends.

It would be very easy, when talking about Anne Marie, to resort to clichés. She had a heart of gold. She could charm the birds out of the tree. She was down to Earth. Being with her was as easy as falling off a log. She’d give you the shirt off her back.

They’re all true, those and a thousand others like them, but they don’t begin to convey the person she really was. She was a true rarity – in all the years I knew her, more than two decades, I never heard her say an unkind word about anyone, no matter how unkind the person. Strangers used to come up to her on the street and tell her she had a beautiful aura, and although I don’t necessarily believe in such things, it seemed so obvious to me that she would, that I believed it when it came to her.

She was generous, not just with her money and her time, but in spirit as well. She possessed such congeniality that strangers, after a short time in her company, began to feel like friends.

She had an impish sense of humor, a goofiness, that was legendary among our mutual friends, and she never shied away from making herself look silly to make someone else laugh. I don’t suppose I will ever again meet someone with her degree of warmth. There aren’t too many people who can do justice to the word “whimsical” but she did, much to the delight of anyone lucky enough to know her.

She never wanted anyone to feel bad, and when it came to coping with the illness that finally took her, she did so with typical grace and largely by herself, so none of us had to suffer with her.

Mostly, Anne was remarkable for the sheer volume of love in her life – the love she inspired, the love she gave and was equally gracious about accepting. Once she loved you, you always felt like maybe you were OK after all. And you knew her love would never be withdrawn. If she loved you, she loved you, and you never needed to question it.

I will remember her best for everything and everyone she loved: for Tony and his family, for her parents, Cy and Shirley, whom I am quite sure were waiting for her when she got where she was destined to go, for her family, her friends, that darn cat, Garfield, whose picture I still have on my cell phone because she sent it so often. She loved California and I am so happy that she got to spend her last years here.

We shared a love of movies, books, puzzles, games, travel – just about anything that had the potential to capture her imagination. Maybe it’s no accident that the things she loved best have the power to whisk you away to another world. Her reality, as wonderful as it was at times, wasn’t always easy, but no one has ever handled hardship with more grace.

Mostly, I will remember her and be forever grateful that she loved me, because I loved her too, from just about the first time we met, back when I was 17 and she was 31, when we both still had our parents, and the world seemed like a boundlessly entertaining, awe-inspiring, mystical place, and cancer was just a word. In Heaven, I know that’s where she is, with her mom and dad, drinking a dirty martini or maybe a margarita on the rocks, in the sunshine, by the ocean, not in any hurry, but looking forward to the day we will all see her again.

Yonge and Dundas Street view

Amazing. I looked up my parent’s place and my mom was on the front lawn.. Now I understand this is not live but an image taken, but damn. The last time I googled my parent’s home on Google Earth it showed my car that owned over 4 years ago.

Have you seen a car with big camera looking contraption on the roof driving around?  Well that is how this incredible service was created.  The images are so clear.. It allows you to zoom into the scene.  If you check out the images o n BlogTo’s site you can see what I mean about zooming and the detail of what you can see.  There are some weird pictures on the site where they are showing things going on the sidewalk. I suggest you check out BlogTO’s page is this found here

We tried to see if we could find us walking our dog Emma but to no avail.  I even looked up my brother’s home  in California.. and yup there it was… I believe this is one of the best improvements Google has made to maps.  I can’t wait to try Google Earth.   I am the type of person that likes to see landmark building or something to remember where I am going. This now does that.

Google Maps Will Now Show You Traffic Conditions On The Back Roads.  According to Tech Crunch, “Google Maps just added a nifty feature that will show you live traffic conditions on arterial roads (non-highway roads) in selected cities. Google Maps will also show traffic patterns on main highways as well, helping you see what the least-trafficked route is for your commute.”  I think this is wonderful.. Especially when you connect using a mobile device and get real time traffic results.

AWESOME.

I say way to go Google. This is a major step forward in the mapping and GPS world.  Thank you for doing this and still keeping it free.  I’m excited to see what is next on horizon for Google and Maps.

We have just finished her memorial that we did at ST. Phillips Anglican Church. I will be posting the 3 Eulogies written for her so that you get the feeling of what Anne was about. In a nutshell… AMAZING, WONDERFUL, EXUDES STRENGTH, KIND AND CARING.

In this posting will be my brother’s and his alone. It deserves the whole posting by itself and it is really a tear jerker,  even if you have never met Anne get a tissue.. you will need it.   My next posting will be  My Eulogy and that of her best friend Annette.

Tony’s Eulogy for Anne:  “A Husband’s Love”

Anne Marie was born in July 29^th, 1955 at St Michaels Hospital. Her father Cy was an engineer with Canadian Pacific Railroad. Her mother Shirley worked at the main central branch of the post office. Along with her 2 brothers Bruce and Al, she also lived with her Aunt Jean, Uncle Everett, Cousin Beverly and Grandmother Bailey. It was from this humble beginning that Anne grew her love for family and truly important matters. Anne had no use for material objects.

Anne’s family also included her maternal grandparents The Doucettes in Prince Edward Island. She would talk about the trips out there every summer with her mom on the train with such a big smile. Anne’s love for family grew further on these trips, as well as her love for lobster.

I recall meeting Anne on my first day in the insurance industry, right out of college. I was smitten right away. I couldn’t wait for the day to end so I could rush home and tell my friends about this very special lady at work that I just had to get to know. It was very difficult for me to approach her. I had heard about a group night out and hoped to get myself included. Then they put me with Anne for training for most of my second week of work. Wow, what a thrill. Who could pay attention to the training? I conjured up enough courage to ask Anne about the group night out. She said that one person was getting rid of their ticket to the show because of a potential TTC strike and they wouldn’t be able to get home so I quickly volunteered to take it. What a break for me, thank you God. The transit strike actually did occur and everyone decided not to attend the show but Anne and I decided we would go anyway. Another break! Now I would have the entire evening to spend with her. We shared a cab home and our relationship flourished from there.

Anne left that insurance job shortly after we started dating and went into the newspaper business. She spent nearly 30 years in newspapers. She worked for the Toronto Sun, Pasadena Star, Pasadena Weekly and the Sun Sentinel in Fort Lauderdale. At the Toronto Sun she worked her way up to being an Editor for the Special Sections and retired from this position when we returned to Pasadena in 2006.

In 1991 I was asked if I’d consider moving to Los Angeles. We wanted to move to the US but we weren’t quite thinking Los Angeles. I took Anne out that night and made sure she had a couple of drinks before I even started talking about it, but she was a trooper and ready to try this new life. I know how much it tore her up inside though, to think about moving far away from family and friends, but she was always up for an adventure.

Seven months after moving to Pasadena, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. The shock was very difficult for both of us. We were barely settled. After she and her doctor addressed her treatments, operations, chemo, medicine and radiation, she got to it. With most of you knowing Anne, comparing her to a middle linebacker is probably hard to understand but she just put her head down and plowed through everything she had to do. She didn’t ask why, she just did it. I’ve been asked many times how I dealt with this. I simply said that Anne pulled me through it. She threw me on her back like she did with everyone in this church and others and she simply pulled us all through it. She was amazing.

I never saw her feel sorry for herself, never asked why me and never, never gave up. This year was a particularly tough one for her but she did what she had to do. It wasn’t until her last week when she admitted to herself that there was no return and again threw me on her back and pulled me through it. She asked me how I was doing, are you ok, are you eating. I was trying to be strong throughout her last month but her being worried about me was too much for me to maintain control and continue being strong. She simply smiled and told me to let it out. Once again she was pulling me through the difficult times. She didn’t get caught up in self pity and didn’t let her illness slow her down or stop her from living her life. During her last month when she was quite ill, she would pretend she had a cold when her Aunt Jean called as she didn’t want to worry her. How special a human being must you be to know you are very ill but don’t want to worry others.

She saw both her parents pass away from the same horrible disease. My in laws were 2 of the greatest people I’ve ever known. I still miss them so much but now they have, as they would always say “their little girl”.  I’m sure they are thrilled to be sharing times together again.

Her love was unconditional, her trust unwavering and her soul as pure as they come.  I’m fortunate to have another beautiful soul in my life, my cousin. My cousin and Anne shared a very special relationship. My cousin is a wonderful person and a beautiful woman. She was stricken with MS at a young age. I recall visiting with her one day and asking her how she felt about being sick and if it caused her to question her faith in God. You see, family and her faith meant everything to her. She looked at me and said, no, quite the contrary, my belief and faith in God has grown. I asked her how could that be, if God had allowed her to get sick. Her response was “God chose me to take this journey; God knew I was strong enough to take on this sickness”. I didn’t know how to react but now I realize that Anne was also chosen. Even though in our eyes her time here ended far too soon, God needs her for a bigger mission. We simply couldn’t keep her any longer, and have to share her with whatever she encounters on her next journey. We can only hope we get the privilege of sharing her soul again in another world.

Anne was a very simple person, nothing complicated. To meet her was to love her. She just loved everyone and was always kind to all. She was very giving and not a taker. When we discussed moving back to Pasadena she kept telling me how she wanted to volunteer at Huntington Hospital to help people and give back to a hospital that had been so good to her. She loved Pasadena and wanted to give back to the community. Anne was so excited to be accepted as a member of the Tournament of Roses and work the Rose Parade. One of the nights I will treasure for many years to come was this past News Years Eve when we worked together on the Rose Parade. Our chairman was so kind to Anne knowing of her fight and teamed her up with another woman facing the same battle. Our chairman understood as he had a liver transplant 20 years earlier due to cancer. But mostly she loved the friends we had made and the friendships we were able to keep during the years we didn’t live in Los Angeles.

Anne was very proud to be the godmother of 2 wonderful people. She didn’t get to see Alexandera as much as she would have liked but she enjoyed every minute when she did and so happy to see her grow up into such a lovely person. She was extremely proud of Stephen and for being his godmother. Watching Stephen grow up into the fine upstanding gentleman that he is was one of her joys. So often she would tell me how she thought he was such a special person, so loving and so caring. He is always watching out for his beautiful sister Beverly, not because he has to but because he wants to. One of the closest people I have seen to have a soul as beautiful as Anne’s is Stephen. She also dearly loved her nieces and nephews. She treasured every minute should could spend with Danielle, Zach, Denis, McKenzie and Brittany.

We were married almost 30 years and she was sick for almost 20 of those. People have been so kind to me, saying how they thought my supporting Anne was admirable and courageous. It wasn’t. It was a privilege I will cherish forever and I wish I could have continued for another 30 years.

I remember a conversation I had once with someone who wasn’t the biggest advocate of marriage. This person couldn’t believe that Anne and I had never had an argument, never a raised voice or a cross word. She never gave me any reason to want to argue with her and the idea of saying or doing anything that would hurt her feelings was just devastating to me. I’m certain I gave her plenty to want to blast me though, but she never came close.

Since Anne’s passing, many of you have provided wonderful comforting words and you are right that I have many years of good memories to reflect on during tough times in the future and that we shared something so many people never have a chance to experience. As much as this is true, it so difficult to know how fabulous life together was and now it is gone. Earlier this year with all her challenges, Anne said to me one of the nicest things she could have ever said. We had just gotten home from having had fun spending the evening with friends and pulled into our garage. She turned to me and said “I love my life”.

I hope I can give all you some comfort that missed Anne while we lived elsewhere. It was so difficult for her to be away from you all. She enjoyed trying new things but they came with a sacrifice and the time with all of you who she loved so much was that sacrifice. Trust me when I saw, it was very difficult for her and very painful.

My mom deeply loved Anne as did the rest of my family. I was amazed how the 2 of them could hold a conversation in 2 different languages and know exactly what each other was saying. Anne used to love it when I would speak Italian especially with my mom.

So in closing I would like to say

(read phonetically)

CHOW BELLA MIA. MIA  AMORE  PEAR  TAY  E  MOLTO GRANDE.